"I can explain..."

“unrequited love can be survived in a way once-requited love cannot”

The letter on your phone explains how you felt, explains how suffocating the love was that I dealt. I understand the co-dependency could be too much to deal with, especially when it come from emotions too extreme. all I’m saying is I don’t blame you, you chose yourself when I couldn’t come through, you chose to be with someone better someone who understood you, someone you didn’t have to worry about all the time. I could feel the relief in your words after I left, like you let out a breath I didn’t know you’d held, like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders and you were free. that’s when I realized what I couldn’t see. I was never good enough, smart enough, never held you up never high enough or funny enough the looks couldn’t save me I wasn’t pretty enough either, but your mistake was telling me that you didn’t care about my flaws. your mistake was making me feel relevant, placing me on this imaginary pedestal, tip-toeing around my heart like I’m barely a person and making me look stupid. for all it’s worth I really did feel like you were there, I really did feel the comfort in your gaze sometimes I want to tell you that I was wrong and I want things to go back to how they were, I want to tell you that I miss your touch, I want to tell you that I miss it when you make me feel not enough, I want to tell you I like the challenge but I’m too conflicted by logic and blinded love strapped to a carriage, like Cinderella when the clock strikes, the spell cast is broken I snap out of it and remember you were just a rite of passage, you were a stepping stone, a test to how much I can manage